ok this is me in a very confused moment.

wen u cant get that person outta ur head..
you dont kno whats goin on.. ur distracted.
all you can do is think of that someone.
and somehow it makes things better.

wen you have hurt someone u care about
not intenionally of course
but u dont kno what to do next

wen u dont kno why u like this person.
u just do.
and u dont want to like this person,
you dont want them in your head
but they just wont leave

wen u like somebody soo much
and u dont kno if they feel the same.
but u pray and hope they do.

wen ur too scared to make a move
bcause you dont kno how they feel.

thats what i feel!!

xoxo
raewyn

well its fridae.. three more daes till school!! =(
so very sad!

three daez till school which means three daes to finsih my essay.. been delayin that since last term hehe

around 6 weeks till exams as well which means 6 weeks to study.. specially for maths!!  to revise over a years worth of work!! cant wait till next yr where tha math exams go over 2 yrs worth ov work =( lol

well holidaez hv been.. err alrite i suppose

got a new puppy. went clubbin. shoppin. seen movies. had a $2000+ dinner which didnt taste very nice. LOL

quite uneventful holidaez yet it seems to be one ov tha most stressful, bsides xmas holidaez 2 yrs ago.. (broken leg+movin to melbs!!) so hmm..

im at a very confusin time in my life. feel like im talkin to people n they hear me buh they dont seem to be actually listenin.. dont kno if they actually do buh thats how it feels. hmmz =S

i wanna get away from it all.. im goin shoppin =)

xoxo
*raewYn

amazin how songs can reflect xactly how ur feelin wen u cant put it in words urself.

"Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry"

"Don't ever wanna feel no pain
Hoping for the sun
But it looks like rain"

Mariah Carey ft Bone Thugs n HarmOny - Breakdown

"So i put on my make up put a smile on my face
and if anyone ask me everything is ok
im laughing bcoz no one knows the joke is on me
coz im dyin inside with my pride and a smile on my face."

Tamia - Smile

xoxo
*raewYn

wellz i typd up a blog n sumhow got deleted!! very peeved off!!

all i am wantin 2 say is that i wanna give up.. wanna admitt defeat n juz run away, juz cry!  run away 2 sumwhere where evrtyhing is good n there r no worries!! coz atm im crumblin wif all tha pressure!! i cant take it n i juz wanna go sumwhere.. anywhere buh here!! too much goin on in my life which juz makes it worse then it already is..

u kno wha its lyk 2 get knockd down n den wen ur juz gettin bak on ur feet agen u get pushd down even further n u juz keep trynna get up buh afta a while u notice.. whas tha point..?? coz atm tats where im at.
juz day dreamin.. trynna get away from reality coz reality ultimately SUKS! n i juz dont see tha point ov everything.. coz my life is in ruins n i look around at my friends n hear about their great lives with their bf's n how they get treatd so good n everythin else n i den compare it with mine.. no bf. no real close fwends here which i cud n wud trust my entire life with them coz everytime i do get close with sum1 sumthing dramatic happens which changes everything!! i juz wanna go back.. back 2 tha carefree yrs ov preschool where tha most important thing was what toy i wantd 2 play with. i didnt hv 2 deal with boiiz (as they all had cotties bak then), didnt hv 2 pick subjects for next yr which my furute dus depend on, didnt hv 2 worry about ur fwends bitchin bout u n backstabbin u, din hafta worry about tha maths test i hv on fridae which i will most probably fail due 2 tha fact tat i juz cant b bothered!! n din hafta worry bout tha 1ooo word essay on psychology lab report thats due in 2 weeks tat i hv bearly start juz coz i DONT GET IT!! n this all fustrates me that i hv so much i cant get a grasp on. din hafta worry bout gettin a job coz my xpenses r gettin higher LOL!! n yes i had a good life finger paintin n playin wif playdough compard 2 now. i juz cant b bothered with everything now.. i juz dont care anymore!! its not lyk i dont dont wanna care its juz how i feel.. i dont see tha point in tryin wen i can see myself not gettin anywhere

*raewYn

hv nuttin 2 blog bout.. last nite i went shoppin bought o3 facial thingos =P n hot pink folder n blu glu =) skol was hmmM.. had maths wif alex 2dae =( teacha was makin fun ov tha fact tat we`re brother n sisterrrr.. historii class.. we hv lyk 15 people in our class =P had forensics.. boringg!! n english.. hafta rite bout a significant event in my life.. hmmM.. cudnt think ov 1 so talked all lesson =P at lunch i was waitin 2 buy hot chips in line n dis lil yr 7 gurl ses yo0h can go infront ov me if you want.. so yes i went in front ov her.. hehe den she ses r yo0h in yr 7?? imma lyk OMGosh nOo im in yr 1o!!!! she juz kiinda sed ooohh you r!! LMAO im in yr 1o okkaiiiz!! tats all 4 nows xoxo *raewYn